So, I went home. I went home for two weeks, in the NZ summer, for my 30th birthday. Hand on heart, it was the most magical, memorable and special two weeks of my life. Saying it was emotional seems pointless, it was to be expected after two years away. What wasn’t expected – was that I would fall for someone.
Queue happiness, love, daydreaming, butterflies and endless possibilities. Not quite. The person I think I have fallen for, is someone I
shouldn’t can’t. And the person who has fallen for me back, shouldn’t can’t.
Here I am, the self-proclaimed Ice Queen, the girl without all the feels, the one who never likes anyone and now I can’t stop thinking about him. I finally feel something and I haven’t felt like this in for what feels like a lifetime. In all honesty, if I remove the reality of the situation, I wonder if I have ever felt like this before. I’m giddy, I’m nervous and excited with him but I’m myself. More myself than I ever really have been with someone.
But it can’t be. We can’t be.
You can’t help who you fall for – but you sure as hell can try your best to follow your head and not your heart. Time to revert back to being the Ice Queen we all know and love/hate. It was good while it lasted.
distanced hearts club ♥