an updateless update

It’s been a while dhc followers…and I’m sorry to update you with such an update-less post! The sad truth though, is that there really is nothing to update you on…yawn.

// The Rugby Boy and I tried to meet up again for some fun but that has now gone completely stale. Even when when you know all he was, all he wasn’t and all that he ever would be, you always secretly hope, don’t you, that it may just turn out to be something more. A tall, handsome, funny man with a great job and a paper-perfect background – I guess it’s what we all want – what he wanted however, is where the problem always lay. He wanted dessert, I wanted brunch. Luckily I never let feelings develop for that one.

// The mold breaker is still messaging me…but despite our efforts we still haven’t met up again. The clincher, he’s moving back to NZ – so theres no point another date now anyway. I think the kick in the teeth with this one was that I finally decided to take a chance on someone who I would never normally go for. He wasn’t a total babe, he wasn’t the centre of attention, he wasn’t my type; he wasn’t a show pony. I really wanted to break my mold, date someone who was different and give it a go – yet he never really made any effort to give it a go with me – besides the messaging. He only wanted to let his fingers do the talking and funnily enough, after two failed long term longdsitacned relationships, I’m not looking for a pen pal.

// Trouble and I haven’t been in any real contact at all, following our recent catch up. I miss him but I wonder if that’s more becuase I’m used to him, he’s always been such a huge aprt of my life. On the other hand, I do genuinely hate what happened to us. What distance did to us, what he did to us and the the result of what we are and what we aren’t just wasn’t what I saw coming. But I know it’s better this way. We’re not “friends” and it’s sad, but it’s reality. Facebook likes on all my photos and drunk snapchat videos of him aren’t really what I call a friendship anyway. As far as I am aware he is still with her, the cousin. I wish them well, despite how their relationship has made me feel, you never want anyone else to feel the hurt you have been felt, do you, and when you care about someone like I cared care about Trouble, I guess you just want them to be happy – with or without you. Zero contact is just the final piece of the broken puzzle, the final part of moving on.

// I guess the real reality shaker lately is that the Train Driver, the man who sent me in to my first bout of real heartbreak, the root of my distrust and lack of faith in men, the creator of my guard, my barrier, my wall….got married. Yup, M.A.R.R.I.E.D. Blissfully, happily, head over heels in love, married.

Why is it that the ones who break your heart, seem to be the luckiest in love?

distanced hearts club ♥





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