calm seas

November 2015

I’m often confused. Some would say it’s my natural state – and I wouldn’t really argue with that to be honest. As a stereotypical Pisces, I usually just swim around peacefully in my own circles before working which way the tide is going. But this weekend has lead to a far larger wave of confusion than normal. Confused doesn’t cut it. I’m so confused I end up wondering what I am even confused about?

All I know is there are two ways to swim; to talk, or not to talk.

Should we be talking about the feelings he told me about this weekend, should I be telling him about my feelings? Naturally, all I want to do is keep floating above water, ignoring the whirling waters below the surface. As a water sign, I want to avoid confrontation and live in my own world where I can push confusion to the bottom of the ocean and enjoy the calm up top. And that’s the thing, Trouble and I are calm, we’re good. We’re the best we’ve been in a long time. Our mutual Piscean fish are paddling happily in our self created sea, it’s not choppy too often – only a few white caps every now and again. Friends tell me we need to talk since he revealed his feelings for me and we spent those 48 hours hours together, that we need to sort out whatever is going on – that this isn’t normal for exes. But I don’t think I want to talk? Do I?

I don’t even know what I would say?

I mean, is it not better to stay happy, peaceful and calm – albeit confused – than to open up the big black hole and potentially let drama, feelings and emotion crash down on us in a potentially tsunami force?

Talk about drowning in my own thoughts. I don’t know what I am thinking, how I am feeling, what I want or what I should to do next. I think doggy paddle suits me just fine right now – lapping up the fun, child like innocence of the situation, ignoring the potential pain or hurt that comes from a more intensive stroke. I might be paddling around in confusion, but I am comfortable with how afloat I’m staying. Sometimes, somethings are best left unsaid, un-talked about.

But is this really one of those things? Your guess is as good as mine.

xo bambi

distanced hearts club ♥


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