new entrant

Despite the slip up this weekend, #whoops – I’m still interested in the dating game. But I’m quickly finding dating is a pretty shit funny world. Especially as a brand new player to the game! I’ve obviously had boyfriends in the past, but I have never ‘dated’ them as such. I grew up knowing the Train Driver for nine or 10 years before we took the leap out of the friend zone, and Trouble…well we just began meeting up drunk and then moved straight in to the together zone. We never really “dated” or took that path to our relationship. So to be perfectly honest, right now I don’t know my strategy, I don’t know who’s play is next and I don’t even know how to make my next move!

I don’t think I’m very good at the game; I can’t read the signs, I’m constantly confused and left wondering. While I want to see their hand, I don’t want to show mine – but at the same time, I want to hint that I have a good hand and am interested in theirs. …confused?! Me too!

What do you do for the first few dates? What do you talk about? What’s acceptable – do you kiss on the first date? You obviously don’t ideally want to sleep with them on the first date, but how many dates till it’s acceptable to go there?

What happens when date two…and date three…are just as good as date one? If not better? When is it ok to begin to feel that maybe he is in to you? If you discuss a fourth date on the third date, do you broach it afterward? Or leave the ball constantly in their court?

Then comes modern-day communication. When is it socially acceptable to respond to a message? How quickly should you expect a reply? Why does so much ride on the act of sending text messages back and forth? Just because he doesn’t message you all day everyday, or message you back the instant you send him one – why does that make you feel like they don’t like you? Or does it actually mean they don’t like you?

So many questions, and I don’t actually think there is a rhyme, reason or rule to follow. Boo.

All I know right now is that I like the new entrant in my dating life – but I don’t know if the Rugby Boy likes me or not. It seems obvious that he does when I see him – but in between seeing him, your guess is as good as mine!

When I see him, our conversation flows, we’re the perfect mix of nervous but relaxed, we talk about future dates every single time (the last date he even mentioned me playing in his touch team next summer…?!) and while we have pretty serious chemistry, he’s being a gentleman – not once has he tried to take it any further than walking or driving me home and passionately kissing me on the doorstep before saying goodnight, I’ve even been getting those cute forehead and nose kisses that we love! And let me tell you….the actual kissing itself is nothing short of incredible. You don’t just make out with someone at the end of every date for around 45 minutes if you don’t want anything more at some stage I didn’t think?!

All sounds like it’s going well – right?! Well here’s where I beg to differ. It takes us, on average, at least two weeks between dates – because of his ridiculous sporting life combined with a natural clashing of our schedules. And he isn’t the most communicative on text either. Don’t get me wrong, he does text me, we do chat about things that aren’t related to just seeing each other next time. But sometimes – sometimes he just doesn’t respond for around 24 hours. I know I mentioned earlier that we shouldn’t let so much ride on the medium of text messaging, but let’s be honest in this day in age seeing the double tick and not seeing typing or a reply obviously leaves a girl wondering….

is he just not that in to me?

xo bambi

distanced hearts club ♥


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