the world of the new t word

July 2015
Sitting at home feeling sorry for myself or angry at Trouble is never going to solve anything, so I decide to venture in to unknown world of a new T word.  Yup, that infamous app…God help me.
In all my adult years (FYI I’m counting this from the age of 21…) there has been three men in my life. The Train Driver, Trouble and my first long-term boyfriend. Between them, I have had one kiss in Spain (following break up one) and one date last August (following break up two) . 

Yeh…so we all know I need to get a life. I need to get out there. I need get in to the world of dating! Is the app beginning with T going to be a hinderance or a help?! To be honest I don’t know – but half for a dose of laughter, half for a dose of distraction – I enter my details, chose my top five photos (totally awkward – you’re literally creating a marketing campaign for yourself), and I begin swiping.

Left, left, left,

Open – flick through photos – laugh, left

Left, left,

Open – see eight mutual NZ London-based friends…

I decide to give the opposite side a swipe: right

Ding – a message comes through noting our fellow kiwi in London nature

We begin messaging, all pretty standard – nothing to set things on fire, nothing to make me laugh, just normal standard chat – with a complete stranger. He mentions meeting up for a drink next week, to which neither excites me nor upsets me. I’m obviously more on the happy side than the put off side – but I’m not weak at the knees or anything.

Are you meant to feel more, or anything for that matter, when you’re talking to someone you have never met via an apps instant messenger?! I don’t know – I’m new to this game – this weird game.

After a few wines with the girls over the weekend, I mentioned to one of my girlfriends also living over here that I have “matched” with and been chatting to someone she knows. Don’t get me wrong, Clementine (as we’ll call her) is a lovely girl – but she is bluntly honest & somewhat judgemental at times when it comes to men! I was apprehensive to hear her thoughts because of this…but instead I saw her eyes light up and a huge smile grow on her face; “He’s awesome! Totally normal, cool guy – tall too! Surprised he’s on T, he’s too normal for that! Definitely go out with him!”.

Interesting. I take this on board, decide that I’ve had enough of the app and go to delete it – because of the outrageous amount of weirdos, not because of this particular match just FYI. Before deleting it I decide to let him know I’m removing myself from the weird world of T but if he is still keen to meet up then here’s my number.

Within a few hours he iMessages me and asks to meet up on Wednesday. I agree and say I can. Tuesday rolls around and my phone beeps – it’s him;

Hey I’m real sorry but going to have to reschedule tomorrow I have a work thing I kinda have to go to. Are you free on Thursday at all instead?

Hey, ok no worries. The girls and I were going to give one of the local pub quizzes a go on Thursday haha but will check and let you know?

Slight white lie on my behalf – but only because I think his is too

Yeah that’s sweet just let me know if you can and if not I’m sure we can sort something out for another day!

Next day…

We’re not doing the pub quiz this week so I am free tomorrow 🙂

I may not be tomorrow now sorry! My work is just an absolute nightmare this week. Is it ok if I let you know in the morning, sorry to mess you round

Haha a double cancel! That’s cool, my work is pretty similar at the moment so I get it, just let me know tomorrow.

Yeah sorry I feel really bad! I will definitely let you know in the morning though hoping not to be stuck at work

So correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I have been cancelled on, not postponed on…

Not sure how much I’m going to like this dating game – if I can’t keep a date with a stranger without them already running away, I don’t think I stand much of a chance of success! Not sure I want to put myself in a position to ever be disappointed or upset by a man again. Don’t get me wrong, i’m clearly not upset that this date seems to be continuously postponed/cancelled…it’s more just made me open my eyes. Why would I ever want to get myself in to a situation again where I may get feelings for someone, just to get them thrown in my face and be lied to? Errmm no thanks. I was always taught to learn from my mistakes, not re-live them.

I’ve given up on T – do I give up on dating as well? #singleforlife

xo bambi

distanced hearts club ♥


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