no one wants an upset apple cart

June 2015

Nothing beats a well balanced apple cart, and currently mine is looking good – really good.

° I’m 28

° I’m single

° I’m living in London

I honestly can’t think of a better place to be at this stage of my life. I’ve set up home, I have a fantastic new job, I’m making new friends and I’m travelling. The main thing I have achieved over the last few months is that I have overcome heartbreak derived from another long distance relationship. It was confusing, it seemed unfair, it was hard and boy did it hurt – but I did it, I’ve stuck to my game-plan and here I am – happy in London.

I’m almost anonymous over here in some ways, no ex boyfriends to answer to, no high school friendship groups to stick within, no long lasting colleagues who know the ins and outs of my life. Aside from my four amazing girlfriends over here, no one really knows me. I can be who I want to be and I can be with who I want to be with.

Ok sure, I’ll admit it, my heart might still be taken somewhat, but I’m definitely not.

Yeh, I miss him, of course I wish something could’ve worked out – but the path that I chose to take is working out rather nicely thank you very much. I’m sure big part of overcoming my recent heartbreak is the whole ‘out of sight out of mind’ concept….but does that matter? He is out of sight so I can more easily put him out of mind – and be therefore be happy. Win, win situation in my eyes!

My apple cart is pretty well balanced – I’m really happy with my life and I’m proud of what I have achieved, who I’ve become and who I’m still becoming – cheese overload.

Warning: Trouble lies ahead. And no, I’m not just using a street sign as a segway –  Trouble has actually decided to move to London. And he arrives in 12 days.

For the last two years we have been working – tirelessly – on our relationship, our friendship, our romance, our communication, all via phone, Internet and multiple long weekend getaways while based in different countries. All we have wanted is to be in the same place. Coupled with that, all I wanted to be in London, I wanted us to be in London. He didn’t, not for 3 or 4 years anyway. So, it didn’t work out, cue heartbreak.

Now he is coming here – not for me I might add before you get too Nicholas Sparks on it – so shouldn’t I be a whole lot more excited than I am? I actually feel slightly annoyed at him. A bit of a territory claim perhaps.

We have never had a problem when it comes to the heart, we have only ever had a problem when it comes to the distance between us – god darn geography and being in our selfish, adventurous years; our twenties!

Have my feelings started to fade for Trouble? Has distance played its evil card; as the problem of distance is solved the problem of feelings has been posed?

Or am I purely freaking out at the prospect that there is now a chance that his impending arrival may upset the apple cart? MY well balanced, new, London apple cart.

xo bambi

distanced hearts club ♥


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