even the sun sets in paradise

May 2013

We have two weeks left to make the most of whatever it is we have. I have made the conscious decision to keep seeing him, because to be honest – he makes me too happy to give it all up and I figure I’m going to be sad regardless of if it is now or in two weeks time – I may as well make the most of what little time we have left together. We haven’t spoken about him leaving after that message came through. We hung out that night and everything was as normal, we were happy – slightly tinged with sadness however. The sex was different that night too, somewhat desperate and slightly sad – still fantastic though, not something I’m looking forward to giving up!

We are spending more time together than ever. I would’ve thought his last 14 days would be spread evenly across family, friends and I would fit in somewhere in-between…but the reality is that we now just naturally assume each night will be spent together. Our current routine is; I work late, he goes to the gym then the supermarket, he meets me at my flat, groceries in hand – he cooks us dinner while I sit on the couch watching him and drinking a glass of wine he has just poured me. We hop in to bed, cuddle, watch movies or our favourite TV series, have amazing sex and fall asleep.

The thing that gets me is the mornings. The amount of kisses he gives me when I say goodbye. I don’t know why it means so much to me but it does – and it is something I will never forget or take for granted. Am I the luckiest girl in the world? Kind of. He is leaving after all – bit of a game-breaker. My life has gone from the real life rom-com to a tragic love story in a matter of nine short weeks.

He invites me to his leaving party which I am not at all comfortable attending. I have spent two and a half months of not getting to know his friends or family so that I don’t get attached – much to his frustration – so to now turn up to his leaving party as the girl he is seeing seem weird to me. My lack of an RSVP on Facebook doesn’t go down well however and we have an awkward mini argument. Not a common occurrence with us mutual Pisceans.

I give in, I attend his leaving party. As always – I have the best night – Trouble and I certainly do party well together. Again, nothing is really said about him leaving – except for a brief one liner from him as he is sitting on the couch with his arms wrapped around me mid-party; “I don’t even want to think about saying goodbye to you”

It’s then that it hits me that we have to say goodbye. I’ve done this before – I can’t believe I’m doing it again. I also can’t believe that “the fling” I entered in to has turned in to this: an emotional attachment with an amazing guy who is now leaving me. Another man is leaving me, for Australia (same city – no sh*t).

His last three days we don’t spend a moment apart, I even attend his last meal with his dad – odd time to meet the parents don’t you think?!

We say goodbye that Wednesday morning, June 5th 2013 – the same day I am launching Georgie Pie’s back at McDonald’s (i definitely have a fairy godmother somewhere out there…). Our hug doesn’t seem to want to end, he whispers “this sucks” and I stay silent. “Come back” I want to whisper….but I don’t – I don’t cry, I don’t speak, I just stand there. I get out of the hug and run up the driveway.

Well. That was that then. I don’t think I’m cut out for this fling thing.

xo bambi

distanced hearts club ♥

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